Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Naaah...I don't want to die !

It is often said that a near-death experience is more often than not a life altering experience – something that makes you want to start living life to the fullest. For me, that life altering experience has come in the form of love, the joy of togetherness with him.

If I start talking about how falling in love with him completely transformed me into a different person, I can go on and on and on. So, for the moment, I just want to say one thing to him – "Thank you my guardian angel ! Every moment when I sense you watching over me, I feel blessed and that makes me fall in love with life all over again……This might come as a cliché right from a Mills and Boon; but I have to repeat it because I have felt it very strongly – I do not want to die because your love makes me want to live and live every moment like no one ever lived ! “

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

'None of These'

And here I return to my Oasis again ! And why? The simplest reasons in the world could be - 'I am really confused, yet again' or 'I am really sad, yet again' or 'I am really excited, yet again'. But , strangely and interestingly, I am 'None of these' right now !!

In the multiple choice questions that life throws at us, 'None of these' is not an easy option to tick ; simply because it poses further questions that intrigue you more and reveal nothing. To me, this option leads to only two roads right now - an inertia in the midst of chaos OR a chaos in the midst of inertia - either ways, I feel devoid of emotions. I am wondering if too many positive emotions are cancelling out the effect of too many negative ones? Or is it really that none exist? There exists one moment when I want to laugh out aloud and there is another when I want to cry bitterly. One moment when I badly want to be surrounded by people and another when I want to just turn my face away from everyone. One moment when I want to trust everyone and another one when I just want to be holed up in my own sense of being !

And hence, I would duck this question right now because the answer 'None of these' is painful .....because it leads me to a land called 'nowhere'.