Rejected, Dejected.....And Resurrected !!

A failure surely pricks you; but when it morphs into rejection, it pierces through the mind and you stand testimony to your own annihilation.

These golden words marked in bold might not hold true for anyone ever born on this planet, but I blare them aloud in as superlative a degree as I experienced them. A failure in any other form had always been acceptable to me – It just meant I was not good enough or my efforts towards a goal were not earnest enough. It was always easier to absorb the fact because what I saw in front of my eyes was a direct consequence of my actions. But, being rejected, in my case, meant being marred as “not good enough” by someone else.

I felt nothing less than a pitcher – neatly moulded and crafted by its creator – meant to hold elixir, but instead filled with venom by a spiteful man who deemed it as ‘not worthy of ‘ what it rightfully deserved.

I myself dismiss all these thoughts and assumptions as mere conjectures; I have the strength now. But, poor me! I was a mere weakling then. In one shot, I was uprooted from my earth – the grains of self assurance that held my whole together whenever anything or anyone questioned my abilities, EVER. I disembarked the ship that always sailed on silent waters. I was restless.

The days progressed (as in any other story ;-)) and I slipped into the deeper hollows of dejection. There was no end for I was no heroine of ‘Alice in Wonderland’. But, I am sure now that they do not tell a lie when they say that “Time is the best healer”. It is only with the ticking of the clock that the mystery of what lies ahead unfolds and all the fears that are associated with “what next” are alleviated. Every event that forms the past or the present is nothing but a harbinger of a fast approaching future. It is a simple fact that, again, I managed to learn only with time.

“I am and I shall be what I am meant to be” – the ears resounded with this voice of the inner self, louder than ever. Nothing except the act that I pull out of ‘my present’ will decide what course my life shall take. There is only one thing that shall make the difference – I shall not let my soul be the denizen of a restless self. It deserves peace. I shall not let my lips tilt at an angle that might remind archer of his bow. They deserve smiles. I shall not let my being wilt under the scorching beams of rejection. It deserves the strength of a phoenix – the courage to rise from the ashes.

I cannot deceive myself by assuming that ‘I’ can be defined merely by ‘what I do’. I am more than what I perceive myself to be. And, what dimension ‘I’ shall take – Only TIME will tell.